Do Your Trials Define You?

I got to know Kurt through Maranatha’s production of Pirates of Penzance. It was testimony night at the last SPARQ meeting, and as Kurt shared with us what God had taught him that semester, something he said caught my attention. He said, “Our trials do not define us, but they define who God is.” I’ve asked him to expound on that statement and share his heart on the matter. 

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Life is hard. I have yet to find someone who has said it’s not.

Everyone has felt the pain of betrayal, the fear of loneliness, the guilt of failure, and sometimes the grief of loss. Not all people have felt these hurts to the same degree, but all have a different story to tell. Some have been put through harder times, and some through less, yet everyone has been through a “hardest trial.” But the question remains: does that trial define who you are?

The simple answer? It will if you let it.

The Bible contains a plethora of examples of men and women who were put through trials that we desperately hope to never go through. Adam, Joseph, David, Saul, Hezekiah, Judas, Jesus, John, Paul… the list goes on and on. Some responded biblically and some shamed our God.

But the first man that came to my mind was Job.

Job was one of the wealthiest, independent men in the whole world. He had been graciously blessed by God. He was livin’ the life. Then, on a whim, Satan sought to destroy righteous Job and eventually left him sitting in the ashes of his home, his children killed in gruesome ways, and his wife and friends yelling at him to give up and curse God.

Want Job’s life now? Didn’t think so.

But Job now had to make a choice, as all humans must make a choice when facing trials. He could submit to Satan’s attacks and curse God- that’s worse case scenario. He could turn to the world for 

pity and comfort- more of a common response. Or Job could turn to God for strength to endure- a less common and harder response.

Job chose to defend himself to God and prove that this trial was unfair:

Job: “Oh that my vexation were weighed,

and all my calamity laid in the balances.” (6:2)

God: “Will you even put me in the wrong?

Will you condemn me that you may be in the right?

Have you an arm like God,

and can you thunder with a voice like his?

Adorn yourself with majesty and dignity;

clothe yourself with glory and splendor?” (40:8-10)

God wasn’t messing around. He wasn’t gonna let Job wallow in self pity for one more moment. God quickly showed Job how insignificant his trial was compared to God’s awesome majesty.

Have you ever argued with God?

How about a mega tornado? Probs not. And Job understandably wasn’t about to start either.

He was given another chance to respond appropriately to this trial. This time he did:

Job: “I know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted…

therefore I despise myself,

and repent in dust and ashes.” (42:2)

In response to Job’s humble confession and plea for help, God rewarded him with a better house, more cattle than he had before, and ten children even more beautiful than before.

Everything’s hunky dory now right? Job responded biblically to his trial and God gave him a Joel Osteen kind-of ending... Hmm, reconsider, friend.

Do you think Job had scars from that trial? Body scars from his wounds? Yes. But might he not also probably have had long nights of grief over his ten dead children? His marriage sounded like it was on the rocks during his suffering as well. They probably had to work through a lot of hurt and distrust. Nightmares. He probably had quite a few of them after that traumatic experience.

So trails leave scars. Yet did Job allow the trial or even the scars hold him back and limit his relationship with God? Not in the end.

My friend, the point I’m seeking to make is that your trials don’t have to define you. Don’t let them hold you back from living a life free of bitterness, guilt or grief. Doing so is telling God that He’s not capable of fixing what He allowed. That He’s not big enough. That He’s not God. 

Doesn’t that sound foolish? Yet we do it everyday when we don’t “take it to the Lord in prayer.”

Your hardest struggle ought not to define you, but rather God. Consider the Psalmist David, when he cried:

 “Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my salvation and my God.”

Psalm 42:11

Who is your rescuer in your darkest time? God. Who has shoulders build for burdens not meant for us? God. Who understands, even more than you do, what it’s like to lose a loved one? God...

So you see, you can try and gut it through your trials on your own. It may last longer, your scars may end up deeper, and I promise you it will cost much.

But would you not rather submit to God and let him bear the struggle for you? That’s usually the purpose of most trials anyways. Learning to rely on God…

Friend, don’t let Satan have his way and govern your Christian life with guilt, fear, grief, or any other controlling feeling caused by a hardship. Rebut, and live a fearless life in total abandonment to trust the God you are discovering Him to be.

Your trial should not define you, but rather, God.

 - Kurt Wagner 

Being Content While Pursuing A Dream

Sarah sat near me in Chorale and on several of our bus trips she and I got to be good friends. On one such trip, Sarah shared her vision with me. In the weeks that followed, the more I thought about her vision, the more I realized that, although she wants to be married, Sarah had a life purpose bigger than marriage (something that girls often lack). I’ve asked Sarah to write about her idea and share what God has taught her through this.

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Over the last six years or so, a little idea of mine has developed into a career plan – or maybe I should say a vision for a ministry. Kind of both.

I should explain. A lot of different factors all combined to produce this idea of a “real-life Whit’s End” from Adventures in Odyssey – a café of sorts, run as a ministry to kids and teenagers. (AiO is a radio drama for kids produced by Focus on The Family. In a nutshell, it’s about an eccentric ice cream shop, called Whit’s End, and it's even more eccentric owner, employees, and the kids who come into the shop. I always wished my hometown had a Whit’s End.) It took a long time to put this idea into words, and then to actually think seriously about it being possible. I didn’t expect it to stick, but it did. I am now a junior at Maranatha Baptist University, with a business management major and a Biblical counseling minor. I have a passion for working with kids and teenagers. I can’t wait to see the Lord use me in their lives.

I do believe that if God gives you a passion and a plan like that, He’ll both mold your plan to fit His and He’ll make it happen if you let Him.

But, as I’ve been learning this semester, God doesn’t work on our calendar. As much as we think we have a plan worked out, it’ll never work out that way. As my plan grew and matured and actually became my career plan, I began to set dates to it. I called them goals.

• Graduate from high school with my AS in business in 2015. (Check.)
• Graduate from college with my BBA in 2017. (Make that 2018 – Transferring schools added a semester.)
• Find a church to partner with to get the café started.
• Also, get married.
• Open the café in 2018. (Who knows when, now.)
• Run the business and do ministry for a few years. Find people to train to run the store, working myself out of a job because they’re just fantastic.
• Step back from the business side of things, in order to homeschool my now-school-age child(ren). 
•  Have the best of both worlds.

Sounds pretty great, right? I think so too. That’s why I’d love it if it works out that way. There are a few slight problems with this plan, though.

The first problem is that it just doesn’t work this way. The chances of getting out of college and finding a place to start this business – and a church to partner with – are slim. Chances are, it’ll take some time to find a place and a church. I’m starting to get used to the fact that I need to trust God enough to believe that He’ll make this happen no matter what – even if I end up having to work a few other jobs before that.

The other problem with – err, adjustment to – this plan is that “getting married” part. All the way through high school, as I was making my plan and imagining life after college, I always expected to be married right after college. (In case you weren’t aware, Bible colleges are famous for their matchmaking skills. Half of all alumni from my school marry other alumni.) It’s not that I chose my school specifically for the odds of meeting my future husband there. I chose MBU because of the Biblical foundation for both counseling and business, which were both critical in my school choice. Anyway, the Lord has shown me this year that I basically won’t be getting married straight out of college. So that’s been an adjustment.

When I was asked to write this blog post, the topic suggestion I was given was “Having a purpose in life bigger than marriage.” You’ve read about what this means to me; whether or not I get married, the one thing I know is that the Lord created me to bring Him glory and to allow Him to work through me in others.

Lest you think I’m a goody-two-shoes with her life all figured out, perfectly content with her current situation: I’m not. I believe every word I’ve written, but that doesn’t mean I’m content. I want to get married. There are days when I really just want a strong arm to wrap around me, a pair of reassuring eyes to comfort me, a shoulder to cry on… There are days when I really wish I had a boyfriend. My girlfriends can attest to this. I thought I was content for a long time until a girl in my dorm put it this way and made me reconsider my contentment: “If your future looked just like your present – if you never got any more than this – would you be content? Or is your contentment conditional – is it framed by an expectation of something more in the future?” (She said something along those lines during devotions. That’s my paraphrase.)

I’m wrestling with this balancing act: On one hand, I have a calling to serve the Lord; I don’t want to do anything else with my life. On the other hand, I honestly can’t imagine that life without a husband, and I have a hard time being content with the idea that I haven’t been promised anything.

But enough about me. I have two questions for you.

What’s your purpose in life? Are you living to get married (or to have that prestigious job, or to make a major discovery, or to make money… you get the idea)? Or is your purpose in life to bring glory to God?

Are you content? If God suddenly showed you that you would never get something you’ve looked forward to for a long time, how would you react? Is this something you need to work on with me?

- Sarah Oman