I got to know Kurt through Maranatha’s production of Pirates of Penzance. It was testimony night at the last SPARQ meeting, and as Kurt shared with us what God had taught him that semester, something he said caught my attention. He said, “Our trials do not define us, but they define who God is.” I’ve asked him to expound on that statement and share his heart on the matter.
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Life is hard. I have yet to find someone who has said it’s
not.
Everyone has felt the pain of betrayal, the fear of
loneliness, the guilt of failure, and sometimes the grief of loss. Not all
people have felt these hurts to the same degree, but all have a different story
to tell. Some have been put through harder times, and some through less, yet everyone
has been through a “hardest trial.” But the question remains: does that trial
define who you are?
The simple answer? It will if you let it.
The Bible contains a plethora of examples of men and women
who were put through trials that we desperately hope to never go through. Adam,
Joseph, David, Saul, Hezekiah, Judas, Jesus, John, Paul… the list goes on and
on. Some responded biblically and some shamed our God.
But the first man that came to my mind was Job.
Job was one of the wealthiest, independent men in the whole
world. He had been graciously blessed by God. He was livin’ the life. Then, on
a whim, Satan sought to destroy righteous Job and eventually left him sitting
in the ashes of his home, his children killed in gruesome ways, and his wife
and friends yelling at him to give up and curse God.
Want Job’s life now? Didn’t think so.
But Job now had to make a choice, as all humans must make a
choice when facing trials. He could submit to Satan’s attacks and curse God- that’s
worse case scenario. He could turn to the world for
pity and comfort- more of a
common response. Or Job could turn to God for strength to endure- a less common
and harder response.
Job chose to defend himself to God and prove that this trial
was unfair:
Job: “Oh that my vexation were weighed,
and all my calamity laid in the balances.” (6:2)
God: “Will you even put me in the wrong?
Will you condemn me that you may be in the right?
Have you an arm like
God,
and can you thunder with a voice like his?
Adorn yourself with
majesty and dignity;
clothe yourself with
glory and splendor?” (40:8-10)
God wasn’t messing around. He wasn’t gonna let Job wallow in
self pity for one more moment. God quickly showed Job how insignificant his
trial was compared to God’s awesome majesty.
Have you ever argued with God?
How about a mega tornado? Probs not. And Job understandably
wasn’t about to start either.
He was given another chance to respond appropriately to this
trial. This time he did:
Job: “I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted…
therefore I despise myself,
and repent in dust and ashes.” (42:2)
In response to Job’s humble confession and plea for help,
God rewarded him with a better house, more cattle than he had before, and ten
children even more beautiful than before.
Everything’s hunky dory now right? Job responded biblically
to his trial and God gave him a Joel Osteen kind-of ending... Hmm, reconsider,
friend.
Do you think Job had scars from that trial? Body scars from
his wounds? Yes. But might he not also probably have had long nights of grief
over his ten dead children? His marriage sounded like it was on the rocks during
his suffering as well. They probably had to work through a lot of hurt and
distrust. Nightmares. He probably had quite a few of them after that traumatic
experience.
So trails leave scars. Yet did Job allow the trial or even
the scars hold him back and limit his relationship with God? Not in the end.
My friend, the point I’m seeking to make is that your trials
don’t have to define you. Don’t let them hold you back from living a life free
of bitterness, guilt or grief. Doing so is telling God that He’s not capable of
fixing what He allowed. That He’s not big enough. That He’s not God.
Doesn’t that sound foolish? Yet we do it everyday when we
don’t “take it to the Lord in prayer.”
Your hardest struggle ought not to define you, but rather
God. Consider the Psalmist David, when he cried:
“Why are you cast
down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.”
Psalm 42:11
Who is your rescuer in your darkest time? God. Who has
shoulders build for burdens not meant for us? God. Who understands, even more
than you do, what it’s like to lose a loved one? God...
So you see, you can try and gut it through your trials on
your own. It may last longer, your scars may end up deeper, and I promise you
it will cost much.
But would you not rather submit to God and let him bear the
struggle for you? That’s usually the purpose of most trials anyways. Learning
to rely on God…
Friend, don’t let Satan have his way and govern your
Christian life with guilt, fear, grief, or any other controlling feeling caused
by a hardship. Rebut, and live a fearless life in total abandonment to trust
the God you are discovering Him to be.
Your trial should not define you, but rather, God.
- Kurt Wagner
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